Finishing Well Part 2

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN AUGUST 2013

For about a year, I had been challenged with the idea of praying for God's best. This challenge came indirectly from a dear friend of mine, in whom I had seen a trust and desperateness for all of God, all that He would give. She wanted His best for her, and was willing to see everything in her life, her circumstances, as His answer to that trustful prayer.

I watched her as she submitted to the most difficult relationships in her life, as His means of answering that prayer for her. The difficult circumstances that would lay most anyone flat, or cause bitterness, she purposefully and prayerfully said thank You for, and believed it was for her best that He allowed her to experience these things.

Instead of bitterness, tenderness was wrought in her life. Instead of anger, compassion grew for others. Instead of fear, a deliberate choice of trust began to grow. The Spirit uses that fragrance of Christ to draw others to that same kind of life. I wanted it too. And so by faith I began to pray for His best in my own life.

Funny thing when we start praying for ourselves...eventually we see it really is for our comfort that we pray, more often than not. We might not realize that, think that, and might be horrified at the suggestion, but all i can say, is that when I started praying for God's best, I meant for my husband.  Still seems pretty sacrificial, until you understand that I wanted my husband to submit to God's best for him, recognize it as such, so we could get on with life.  Obviously, Gods best was in Indiana, and the sooner he recognized it, the happier I would be.  Truth be told, and to be fair, yes, I wanted God's best for me. Yes, I was becoming desperate to let Him have His way in me, where ever that road led. Yes, I began to realize that His way is best, no matter what, and above all, I wanted His best for me too. My joy was not found in circumstances, but in the God of my circumstances who was personally choosing the path for me that would create the most hunger and thirst for Him. How I want that! But one does not know what one believes, truly, deep down, until she is given the opportunity to walk out what she says she believes.

I thought I believed that I wanted God's best for my family, no matter where that led. When my husband told me the church with whom he was interviewing wanted to meet me, it stopped me cold. This church was in another state. For years, through countless interviews and skypes and questionnaires, no church we were seriously interested in wanted to meet me.  Somehow, in my heart of hearts, I knew God was going to move us. My theology challenged my reality: Haven't I prayed for God's best? Will I not receive this as His answer? Will I trust Him that this is the best not just for my husband, but for me, for our whole family, even for the Body of Christ?