As a storm buffets a tree it pulls at the seed, trying to take it away from its security high on the branch, surrounded by others of it's kind. From this vantage point, the seed could see all around, see the branches, see how it connected to other seeds, see the fields with countless other trees and seeds just like it. It was growing, secure, and hidden within the tree. Secure it thought, ready to bring forth fruit in due time. But the storm pulls and tugs and will have its way in dislodging the seed from its place. It hurls the seed to the ground. The seed is seemingly lost. It is forgotten, alone, and soon... lonely.
But God sees it in the secret place. God carefully watches over that seed, and for it's own joy, which it cannot see at the moment. God allows the seed first to be covered by debris, and after a while, to be buried beneath it, to be pushed down into the soil. It is to be worn and eroded and broken by the soil and its surrounding. It is the death of the seed, to be sure, as the earth sets into it. And it is dark, it is a lonely and an alone place.
But here also is where a different life begins to germinate. The seed rested (like a weaned child O God, like a weaned child against its mother is my soul within me) and accepted the circumstances as from God's hand. There are nutrients in the soil - unknown and unseen perhaps until the seed is buried. The nutrients aren't meant to feed the seed, but to help it die so that the true life within the seed might be brought forth. And that life must come from within the seed - it is the seed's true nature, the purpose for which God created it.
All the seed has known is a violent separating from its home, then burial, then this death. Life, as the seed knew it, is over. It has accepted it's death and is content enough to rest here. Yet it cannot rest long. New life begins within the shell of the seed (for the seed recognizes it's body was but a shell, a casing for this new life) and with this new life, a new hope. Yet the hope somehow also contrasts its own lonliness, it's aloneness. All this trial, difficulty, pain and hurt has been so solitary. There is growth to be sure, but for what purpose? More confinement? More loneliness? Or worse, for itself alone?
Something stirs within the young plant. Surely I was made for more than just myself - surely there is purpose for me too, even beneath the soil? No answer comes. Time, water and food are the only constants. The plant grows and gets stronger. The conviction of purpose grows along with it but the evidence of what it can see speaks to the contrary. The plant continues to grow though, and soon hits what seems to be the reaches of its space. It cannot grow taller yet all within it yearns to stretch farther - but something seems to be blocking - there is no more room! Yet the plant continues to grow, and now it is painful again - it cannot stay where it is, surrounded by the dark and dirt and damp and rotting and it's former shell - it must have more room! There must be more purpose to all this pain! Is this it? Is this what I have been created for? To exist in this hidden place, alone, with no purpose, no vision, no light? Aren't there others? Surely there are the others! Am I alone?
Then, the deluge. And now the plant fears another kind of death - drowning. This is too dark, too much, too much for life to grow. The plant will die. Though the rain at times is gentle, it is relentless. Other times the rain is so pounding it causes the buried plant to hold onto anything it can find for fear of being driven into deeper darkness. The plant is now gasping for breath, accepting, waiting for death that will surely be the final call through this incessant pounding, this relentless outpouring. Then- a voice - faint through the sorrow and the mud and the years -
Arise! Arise my darling, my beautiful one and come along - for behold the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. Arise my darling - come out of the ground, your temporary tomb, your place of protection as I created my Life within you. Raise your head! Burst forth out of the ground! The deluge made a way for you. Its purpose was to cleanse and break and release you. Raise your head dear one and look at Me! See in Me, My Purpose and plan for you - Raise, oh raise your head from what you thought was your place of death but was My means of generating My Life in you! Oh dear one My Son has gone first - He too was buried for a time - but at the right time - I called Him forth. I rose Him by the power of My Spirit from the dead - His place of death was My means of bringing Life to you! Raise your head dear one -and look at Me! Find your deepest longings met in Me. Find your yes-es to all of your heart cries. Find My embrace to end all your loneliness. Find, if you still need, My reasons for your burial, your death and now, your resurrection. (Yes, there are many such resurrections that I will offer to you. Many are willing to die... not many are willing to be resurrected!)
And look around dearest one! See where I have planted you? Look at the field. Look at the others I have planted. I brought them here, perhaps not from the same tree or by the same means, but nonetheless, I brought them here to My field to be planted in the hidden place, the secret place for a season so at the right time I might bring to Myself a harvest of many, ready to bear My fruit. Look around. You have not been alone, though you could not see. Look around. The time is right. The time is ripe. I will feed many through you. What I have taught you my beloved, in the hidden, will be food for many. But though you are now being brought out of the hidden into the seen, continue to cultivate a hidden life. Be with Me in the secret place. There is more of My life I desire to cultivate, germinate in you. Will you accept My invitation to go again, now that you know the pain? I know you will my much loved one. You do not despise the hidden. Indeed-you have not. Press into the lonely places even as My Son did. There, rich treasure continues to hide in the open for you. Just for you. You are My Beloved. In you dearest, I am well pleased.
