Father, thank you. Thank you for painstakingly showing me how you care so much about me, about the kids. Thank you that you put into Matt's heart to get home before Anna, otherwise it would have been her first time home alone after school, and we had not prepped her for it. Thank you for letting me get to Emily's school in time to pick her up, even though we had not talked about who was going to go get her. Thank you that even though my phone was dead, and she might have called me with no answer, she did not panic, but chose to begin to walk to her friend's house with her friend. Thank you that when I cried out to You, not knowing what to do or where to find Em, you let me catch a glimpse of her coat at the end of the block. Thank you that Em saw Matt driving by at that same moment, because You had placed it in his heart to go get Em too. Thank you that she saw Anna with him, and my mother's heart was calmed; all the kids were safe.
Father, I could not have orchestrated that. I could not have figured any of that out. My car was not dependable, my phone was not charged. I had no, no way to communicate with my kids, or my husband. But You did it, even before I knew my need, You had it all in Your control.
I believe the plans You have for us are for our good... to teach us to have joy in You, no matter what. To teach us to really believe that You are Sovereign. And to bring Yourself glory as we are more and more satisfied in You, believing that our heart's desire is to know You, really know You by experience, not just by theology.
You are the longing of my heart today Abba. It is okay if our circumstances do not change. The delay is not because You do not hear, or do not care. Thank You for that insight last night. You never fail to give us your best. And You never fail to do it in Your best time. I do not seek a change in circumstances Abba.... I desire, with all my heart, for a change of heart! You have made marvelous to me Your lovingkindness in a besieged city. You are the desire of my heart.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Choosing To See
Let hope be not quenched in the blackness of night,
Though the cyclone awhile may have blotted the light,
For behind the great darkness the stars ever shine,
And the light of God's heavens, His love shall make thine,
Let no gloom dim thine eyes, but uplift them on high
To the face of God and the blue of His sky.
The storm is thy shelter from danger and sin,
And God Himself takes thee for safety within,
The tempest with Him passeth into deep calm,
And the roar of the winds is the sound of a psalm.
Be glad and serene when the tempest clouds form;
God smiles on his child in the eye of the storm
These are words from a devotional that I posted over a year and a half ago. I read them and see how desperate I still am for the calm of the eye of the storm.... and how much I do not wish to be in the eye, because that means more is coming.
I have seen Jesus though, in this storm that has lasted several years. I have seen Him put people and resources in front of me that challenge and convict. I have seen Him display His glory is ways that move my heart to worship anew. I have more deeply treasured the friends that are not afraid to tell me the truth, that are not afraid to tell me the hard things, and who love me when I cannot see.
And I am tired of not being able to see. So I will try, on this blog, to record the remarkable things an ordinary girl can see from an extraordinary God. And there is something everyday, if I will pay attention. I have been too self absorbed to notice much, except what I lack. I am tired of crying out for what I do not have. I choose to praise Him for what I do.
Today, while in the parking lot at church, my car died. It was time, it seemed. Every morning when I start it up, it complains. And every morning I whisper a praise to God that it started, and I can go to work. When I turned the key in the ignition, nothing. Just that awful death rattle of an engine that has no spark of life left. I called my husband. No answer. I texted him that the car died, and I'd wait for him in the office. Then I sat there in the silence. The thought came to pump the gas while turning the key. If I had stopped to think about it, it would have seemed ridiculous. That's old school. This is a fuel injected car. But I did. I pressed the gas while turning the ignition. Something complained and died. Then I pumped the gas, turned the key, wondering if I was flooding the line. It sputtered and coughed and in a wonderful moment of triumph, roared to life. I could NOT believe it. I drove straight home.
That was my extraordinary Abba Father taking care of His ordinary girl today. How has God been extraordinary in your journey today?
Though the cyclone awhile may have blotted the light,
For behind the great darkness the stars ever shine,
And the light of God's heavens, His love shall make thine,
Let no gloom dim thine eyes, but uplift them on high
To the face of God and the blue of His sky.
The storm is thy shelter from danger and sin,
And God Himself takes thee for safety within,
The tempest with Him passeth into deep calm,
And the roar of the winds is the sound of a psalm.
Be glad and serene when the tempest clouds form;
God smiles on his child in the eye of the storm
These are words from a devotional that I posted over a year and a half ago. I read them and see how desperate I still am for the calm of the eye of the storm.... and how much I do not wish to be in the eye, because that means more is coming.
I have seen Jesus though, in this storm that has lasted several years. I have seen Him put people and resources in front of me that challenge and convict. I have seen Him display His glory is ways that move my heart to worship anew. I have more deeply treasured the friends that are not afraid to tell me the truth, that are not afraid to tell me the hard things, and who love me when I cannot see.
And I am tired of not being able to see. So I will try, on this blog, to record the remarkable things an ordinary girl can see from an extraordinary God. And there is something everyday, if I will pay attention. I have been too self absorbed to notice much, except what I lack. I am tired of crying out for what I do not have. I choose to praise Him for what I do.
Today, while in the parking lot at church, my car died. It was time, it seemed. Every morning when I start it up, it complains. And every morning I whisper a praise to God that it started, and I can go to work. When I turned the key in the ignition, nothing. Just that awful death rattle of an engine that has no spark of life left. I called my husband. No answer. I texted him that the car died, and I'd wait for him in the office. Then I sat there in the silence. The thought came to pump the gas while turning the key. If I had stopped to think about it, it would have seemed ridiculous. That's old school. This is a fuel injected car. But I did. I pressed the gas while turning the ignition. Something complained and died. Then I pumped the gas, turned the key, wondering if I was flooding the line. It sputtered and coughed and in a wonderful moment of triumph, roared to life. I could NOT believe it. I drove straight home.
That was my extraordinary Abba Father taking care of His ordinary girl today. How has God been extraordinary in your journey today?
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